here is a little story about my first role on television… i had been dreaming of this day for years and years. landing a role of any merit and being able to call myself a real live “working actor” was all that i talked about, thought about and dreamt about. a role on TV would be hitting the big time and from there i would be unstoppable.
it all started months ago when i went in to my millionth audition, this round, it was for a 17 year old cheerleader on an episode of TNT’s ‘leverage’. 17 i am not. and since the only schools i had ever attended were art schools, the closest i have ever come to a cheerleader was my teenage obsession with ‘bring it on’ but hey, i wanted this role, i was made for this role, and i was going to kill my audition leaving them no choice but to book me… and much to my surprise i booked the job!
the first day on the set of ‘leverage’ was the biggest day of my life! excited beyond belief, i show up for my first day doing my darnedest to remain cool, calm and collected (i’m now a professional, remember?), spent a lot of time in my trailer waiting, going over and over lines, sneaking a peak outside from time to time and hoping i was doing everything ‘right’. then came the knock on my little door… time to go. i pile into the oversized van and sit there script in hand trying to smile through my fear and holding back the screams of excitement. then the leads of the show pile in… ohmigosh! this is really happening! finally, 3 blocks later, we arrive at set (i guess actors can’t be trusted to walk?). it’s cold in the basement, huddling in corner in my giant parka next to the mini heater i am given a nugget of advice from the stars, “listen and have fun.”
wheeeeee let the games begin! between takes i have to pinch myself to remember that this is actually happening… i am laughing with the cast and crew… i am in with the cool kids! sadly the four days of filming in the magic wonderland went by too fast and i was thrown back into the ‘real world’ where i have a day job and my green tea and veggie scramble isn’t brought to the hair and make-up trailer while my hair goes from bed-head to fabulous and my face suddenly has a healthy glow to it. ugh! the real world sucks.
annnyyyyywayyy… last weekend marked the debut of my face in the little screen and i have never been a bigger bundle of nerves. i wanted to watch the episode, i didn’t want to watch the episode, i did, i didn’t… i did? ah! what if i look fat or was all acty or what if i was terrible or what if they cut out all of my scenes? it was a never ending flurry of freaking outs, anxiety and excitement. in the end i was convinced by my very supportive friends and boyfriend that the only thing to do was drink some bubbly, eat delicious cheese and watch my little mile marker. the time came for us all to settle down in front of the television and although i wanted to ostrich my head into the carpet i was actually watchable, yay. no tears, no agony and no overwhelming embarrassment… i survived!
waaa-baaam! i’m finally a real life actor.